Few people go through life without difficulties, disruptions and disputes, so we’ve all had to experience tough times. Although many others are probably facing similar issues, it can still be incredibly difficult to be open and admit things aren’t going to plan.
We all face problems that we have no previous experience of and we want help to sort out. From a single view point, there can feel like there is no way out and we know that others may help, yet there is a sense that admitting all is not rosy is a sign of weakness.
Most of the time, we put a brave face on in public. We try to conduct business as usual, pretending yet hiding the truth. We might spend the evenings crying or drinking as a result of the problem, but we say we’re ‘fine’ if anyone asks.
On a rare occasion, we might be in the company of someone who allows us to open up. They just ask the right question, at the right time and in the right way that allows us to be honest. This person could be your closest friend or a complete stranger, but something makes it possible to drop the mask.
Just by allowing you to speak, listening and taking your issues seriously, they can really help release some of the pressure that has been building up inside. If they ask the right questions and encourage you to talk more, their input can clear the fog and help you to see the next step that you need to take. They might mentally or physically take your hand and support you.
We have all experienced a conversation where we have felt able to open up. A time when we said more than we expected, revealed things that we had told no one before and trusted someone else with the truth. The time spent sharing might not have lasted long, but it could have transformed your thinking, helped you to see things differently and given you the courage to take action. Such moments are often more valuable than the other person realises.
Turning the Tables
Now consider it from the other perspective. You are in a situation where someone tells you something that is clearly important to them. It might be shocking, it might not be what you expected to hear, it could be confusing; how do you respond?
Often we are quick to jump in with advice, or with a story of someone else we know who experienced a similar thing. We have all been guilty of cutting someone short instead of simply listening. If the conversation is uncomfortable, we might be tempted to change the subject or make our excuses to leave, rather than asking open questions that invites the person to continue with what they have to say.
NLP training can equip us with the skills to encourage, support and enable others. It shows us how subtle changes to our thinking and words can make all the difference to how a conversation pans out. On NLP courses, we can all learn ways to be that person who makes all the difference.
Anyone can learn about, NLP, but if you are a teacher, coach, parent, team leader, youth worker or carer, your role may make it even more valuable to understand the power of thought and language in supporting others. For more information on local NLP Courses, Amersham based Cognisant Training can assist.