by ctadmin | Jan 20, 2017 | Uncategorised
Two steps forward, one step back; if you’ve ever tried to help someone else to make positive changes to their lives, you’ll know that progress can be painfully slow. Just when you see that things are moving in the right direction, they revert to old ways which jeopardise all the effort they have put in so far. You might be a debt counsellor who is gradually helping someone to manage their finances, but just as things are moving out of the red, the individual splashes out on some unnecessary purchase. You could be leading a diet and fitness programme and after weeks of following a strict diet plan, your clients regularly indulge in a fat and sugar feast. These impulsive moments may be short-lived, but they can lead to feelings of guilt and disappointment. You might both be thinking ‘what’s the point?’ It takes more than a deep breath to find the energy and motivation to get back on track. Taking Action The majority of people would like to improve some aspect of their life and feel a greater sense of fulfilment. Yet even when we have the desire to change, it can be so difficult to initiate and sustain the changes that we need to undertake. We often turn to others to help us and this can be beneficial; it holds us accountable. A friend, a community leader or a professional, asking for help is a major first step in taking action. These people often provide practical advice on the actions to be taken. They might suggest small steps in the right direction and offer support at each...
by ctadmin | Dec 13, 2016 | General Posts
We live in a world where media headlines seem to be designed to pray on our insecurities and escalate our fears. In our own lives, we are often fearful of not living up to the unachievable expectations that modern society places on us. In addition we have innate fears that remain from our ancestral past, but still affect our thinking. A degree of fear is necessary and even good for us. We need to be fearful of danger in order to protect ourselves and those we care for. We need fear to fire up our ‘fight or flight’ responses in threatening situations and fear can also help us to live a less risky existence. The trouble is that too much fear can inhibit us and prevent us from living to our full potential. Fear is quite a dramatic word, so it is often replaced by other descriptions including worry, anxiety, apprehension, concern, tension or stress. Any of these can lead to us avoiding situations or opportunities that could enhance our lives. They can prevent us from taking action, leave us feeling exhausted and impact on our physical and mental health. Coaching and Mentoring An important role for any coach or mentor is to help the person or people they work with to recognise their fears, understand the cause and then take action to overcome the areas which are having a negative impact. What is it that is holding them back? Some of the causes are a fear of overriding responsibility for others, a feeling that actions could result in a lack of control, a resistance to change, previous bad...
by ctadmin | Nov 10, 2016 | General Posts
Many people dream of becoming a parent, but it isn’t until our children are born, fostered or adopted that we can truly understand the weight of the responsibility. Without a manual, a coach or any formal training, we are expected to know what to do in an endless array of situations. As parents we have many decisions to make and we want to make the right one, but there is always conflicting information, peer pressure and alternative options that make it tricky to follow your heart. Even if you think you are doing the right thing, it takes considerable confidence to go against the advice or example of others. The Importance of Communication Then there is the daily challenge of communication. Our children often decide to raise an important point or ask advice at the busiest times. They suddenly recall all the details of the day at bedtime, or mention something that needs further discussion when you’re running late for the next appointment. If we’re in a hurry, exhausted, or have a long list of tasks on our mind, it is easy to snap, say something in the wrong way, or simply avoid getting into an in-depth conversation. We might regret what we’ve said later, but the opportunity has passed. Occasionally missing out on a chance to really listen to our children or answer their question is not a big deal. If it happens all the time, the child may soon feel like they are not being heard, that they aren’t important and that no one believes in them. When we see undesirable attitude in children, it is often...
by ctadmin | Oct 16, 2016 | General Posts
Decision making is part of everyday life, but sometimes we reach a point where a more significant life decision is needed. There are many possible options ahead of us and we need to work out which route to take. We might feel pressured or fully motivated to follow one path and even doing nothing is a decision, even if it might not feel like it. Our crossroads might be the decision to apply for a new job and attend an interview, or when you are considering jacking it all in to travel the world. It could be the point at which you are deciding whether to rent or buy a home, or deciding whether to put your elderly relation into a home. You may be considering a marriage proposal or starting the divorce proceedings. When we reach these crossroads, we are often in the position of needing assistance from someone else; a Careers Advisor, a Mortgage Broker, a Care Home Manager or a Solicitor for example. These professional people don’t know the details of our situation, but they can have a significant influence on how we feel about the decision we have to make. Professional Support With an element of risk and the certainty of change, emotions can be charged at a crossroads. Whilst these professionals have a job to do, the way in which they communicate and the words they say can really make a difference. If you feel they have listened, that they have understood your situation and helped you to clarify your thoughts, you can gain confidence and reassurance about your next step. In contrast, if...
by ctadmin | Sep 9, 2016 | General Posts
Few people go through life without difficulties, disruptions and disputes, so we’ve all had to experience tough times. Although many others are probably facing similar issues, it can still be incredibly difficult to be open and admit things aren’t going to plan. We all face problems that we have no previous experience of and we want help to sort out. From a single view point, there can feel like there is no way out and we know that others may help, yet there is a sense that admitting all is not rosy is a sign of weakness. Most of the time, we put a brave face on in public. We try to conduct business as usual, pretending yet hiding the truth. We might spend the evenings crying or drinking as a result of the problem, but we say we’re ‘fine’ if anyone asks. Opening Up On a rare occasion, we might be in the company of someone who allows us to open up. They just ask the right question, at the right time and in the right way that allows us to be honest. This person could be your closest friend or a complete stranger, but something makes it possible to drop the mask. Just by allowing you to speak, listening and taking your issues seriously, they can really help release some of the pressure that has been building up inside. If they ask the right questions and encourage you to talk more, their input can clear the fog and help you to see the next step that you need to take. They might mentally or physically take your...
