Many people dream of becoming a parent, but it isn’t until our children are born, fostered or adopted that we can truly understand the weight of the responsibility. Without a manual, a coach or any formal training, we are expected to know what to do in an endless array of situations.
As parents we have many decisions to make and we want to make the right one, but there is always conflicting information, peer pressure and alternative options that make it tricky to follow your heart. Even if you think you are doing the right thing, it takes considerable confidence to go against the advice or example of others.
The Importance of Communication
Then there is the daily challenge of communication. Our children often decide to raise an important point or ask advice at the busiest times. They suddenly recall all the details of the day at bedtime, or mention something that needs further discussion when you’re running late for the next appointment.
If we’re in a hurry, exhausted, or have a long list of tasks on our mind, it is easy to snap, say something in the wrong way, or simply avoid getting into an in-depth conversation. We might regret what we’ve said later, but the opportunity has passed.
Occasionally missing out on a chance to really listen to our children or answer their question is not a big deal. If it happens all the time, the child may soon feel like they are not being heard, that they aren’t important and that no one believes in them. When we see undesirable attitude in children, it is often because they are expressing their frustration about the lack of proper communication.
Another issue is knowing the best thing to say. Children ask plenty of questions and coming up with an appropriate response sometimes takes considerable thought. There are the times when you are trying to get an important message across and it appears to be ignored. I’m sure you’ve experienced moments when it seems impossible to reason with your child and a small issue, that should have been easy to resolve, grows into something much more complicated.
For many parents, NLP courses have helped them to explore different ways of responding to their children. It has helped them to become better listeners, to define what they want to communicate and how best to get the message across for a favourable response.
NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming; essentially is brings awareness to what we think and say. It can help us approach communication with our children in new ways, it opens our minds to see things from their perspective and it can help us to listen to the core message in their words. Through NLP, parents have helped their children to find their own solutions, use initiative and gain self-esteem.
Unlike other parenting advice, there is not a one size fits all approach to NLP. We are individuals and our children are individuals, so what works for another family may simply be inappropriate for our situation. On NLP courses you develop ways of incorporating and applying the approach into your life in a way that sits comfortably with your natural parenting style.
If you feel that you could benefit from NLP courses, Amersham based Cognisant Training offers regular events starting with a 4 day NLP Diploma. For further information visit click here.